the Sunshine.

You can ask if I'm ok, but I won’t answer. But I know you care in the good way. Also, you'll be able to tell because I'm hooked to a heart monitor. If it beats 68 four times then 76 once, well, then you're going to know. I can get a bless if I need it and I can get a bless even if I don’t. Write the letters and feel the pain but let the words fill it and heal it.

Don’t let others feel the same sadness. Hide and don’t let them find you. Childhood game. So it’s ok. Sometimes I feel my face and the ocean water must have spit on me. Salt stays dried on my cheeks, and stings my eyes. The earth rids the reality of it. 10 seconds on TV and 100 words in news print. Shocks roll in and out, no expectation. No prep.

 I put my head in the cold, dark ocean; no one can hear the scream. Watched the sun go down to shed tears in the dark. I feel like it can pass now. This time I’ll let it travel through instead of washing over my crippled mass. Rolling me, scraping me. I bled.
           I f

               e

                l

                  l

My friends and family need me back; I see it in their eyes. I need to fight for me, and for you. Waiting for the day where the dark will limp away and Sunshine will fill the spaces once again.

home

where i come from....

blue skies

white fluffy clouds

fresh air

cool, but warm....clean breeze with the sun

greenest grasses

sound of meadowlarks

sprinklers in the distance

dad smells like mowed lawn

clean

hearing fish surface in the pond

fishing

fourwheeling through the ice cold stream

getting up before the day to run

dirt roads

thin air

watching the sunrise

crisp mornings with dew

working next to nature

quaking aspens fluttering

picnics

l.a.u.g.h.i.n.g.

country music

tan, heat

ice cold water

streams gushing water

afternoon rain showers

family dinner on the back porch

deep blue silhouetted mountains

laying in the hammock

soft bawling of calves

the mew of an elk herd

campfire smell

bonfire stories and songs

pitch black skies

a million stars

coats and holding hands

smores

ping pong tournaments in the barn

heaven

going to bed with the sound of paradise

and when i wake up...?

i do it all again.

this is my home.

couRAGE

failure turns to revenge.

disappointment to anger.

my tears to loathing.

couRAGE isn't happiness.

couRAGE isn't glory.

couRAGE is sometimes ugly.

"show me a man who has never failed....and i'll show you a man who has never tried"

we need to fall.

scrape my knee.

make me bleed.

ill be better than you.

stronger than you.

faster than you.

if you make me fall nine times... you're only making me get up ten.