How it Should Be

Life was living in hell, the leash suffocates.

I wondered if you’d ever change your ways.
You can’t fool me anymore after these months and something was never quite right. 
So I just put our pictures away...

 You’re not my anything, so how could you be my everything.

 And it shouldn’t be this way.

Love doesn’t know distance, and that’s when I knew.

I can’t sit here and cry anymore today, not even on the inside.

You can’t wonder where I’ve been or who I am.

I don't fit into your mold and I’m always going to be the same.

You won’t ever see tears I cry, the ones; because of you.

Because these days, the ring on my right hand is too tight and it never really faced the right way.

And I found myself counting down to relief instead of sadness.

And it shouldn’t be this way.

It’s the same ol’ same, and honestly; I don’t care how you’ve been.

You remind me of those greyer days.

Tears. Made of paper and glass, tearing me down.

It was easy to get you off my mind ‘cuz I couldn’t stand living life that way.

And once you’re off, I won’t write you to tell you to come home.

And it shouldn’t be this way.

You won’t ever give me what I need and there’s no chance we can just be friends.

Love isn’t easy but it’s easier than this.

If you’d ask me to tell you I love you, you’d get your answer in the silence.

I always thought tomorrow would be better.

But it never changed and my light is no longer shining. 

And it shouldn’t be this way. 

Life’s a winding road and we went round and round.

I gave us a world of chances; chances you burned right through.

For me there’s no right, and for you there was no wrong.

But I just kept on, and I don’t know why.

There’s more me without you.

And it shouldn’t be this way.

The last kiss was sweet, but I knew it’d windup like this.

This time when I fall, don’t catch me.

You held me at a level I never want to see anymore.

You made me cry when I needed to smile.

I can’t die inside everyday, waiting for you to change.

But now I’m smiling through tears.

And I’m glad you’re not here.

And I think it’s time for you and your white horse to leave me alone.

And it shouldn't be this way.

All of my doubt needs to fly through the ocean.

I close my eyes and the sun shines through.

Morning light touched my skin today and the day sounded happier.

 Maybe this is how it should be.

I keep holding my breathe, the passion leaves my heart; seeps.

Waking up is easy to do and life’s better off this way.

I’ve found the way to make it without you.

Cuz now I believe it when I say I don’t need it anymore. 

And I won’t think of you while I’m happily with him.

I don’t want to fall in love; I need to grow up for love.

And this really is how it should be.

Chiquita

When it hit. It ached.

Each day was filled with friends and life and love and school and…

It was Us against the world, bro.

Cruising the boulevard and chased by cops.

We were scared of lost time, but never spent more.

Always knew the summer would come.

10 months of life for 2 months of living.

We knew where to escape together.

Summers were my time. Your time. Ours.

19 years it went.

Partners, understated best friend.

Protector of my heart.

Keeper of my world.

Childhood secrets, sworn.

But, those summers.

Salt and mud and dirt and fresh air.

Gravel under tires and our country in the air.

The hymn kept rhythm with our hammers.

We sang. And we laughed. And we cried.

Free. 

Ready to be grown up, but living like children.

Late nights, early mornings.

Afternoon showers, lunch breaks and Dorito fingers.

Hank strumming in the background.

His giggle and eyes dance along with his jokes.

Days were never grey with that smile.

One ray a week of his sunshine.

Scribbled letters and his simple words,

“I love you Chiquita, I’ll be coming home soon.”

Partners in Crime

Frequently best friends, often enemies and occasionally partners in crime 

Life together, love together, growing together, everything together. 

Always occupied but never apart.

Time taken advantage.

He's left her a child, with room to grow. 

She will learn to live, and love and grow and hurt and cry without him.

No more sitting across the dinner table from him. 

Those fences they built together, will need to be rebuild alone.

Days without his laughter, and days without dimples.  

So many days, so many hours, so many minutes and life.  

It will go on, without him.

He will walk off his plane to embrace a woman, not a girl. 

Strong, and confident, well on her way. 

They won't even know each other. 

Him, older and matured. Her matured as well,  but wearing the same blue eyes. 

He smiles... the dimple comes back. 

Surely best friends, hardly enemies, but always partners in crime.