As you know, this thing isn't always pretty and ya’ll know I’m not that picture perfect bull$h!t definition of what’s considered to be ethical, proper or ‘insta-ready.’ I’m a savage when I need to be, an alpha among wolves and when stuff gets tough, I fight. I’m not a princess who needs saving...I’m a QUEEN - cuz I got this shit handled.
But real talk, I’m not too proud to admit this entire week was hard, guys. I woke up feeling like a stranger in my own skin. Nothing like the 25 year old girl I want to be. And sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living; Comparing my days to who I used to be before Lyme came crashing into my carefully laid out dreams. I admit that I’ve found myself relishing in news of my heros, forgetting that I am extraordinary to someone too.
It’s been a long and windy road over the last 5 months! I’ve had days when every breath was a mini victory...just praying for the minutes to pass and begging God for tomorrow to be better. Still, other days, I’d wake up and the sandman had switched out his sand for GLITTER and I’d wake up Shinin’ Bright like a Diamond.
What I’ve learned, however, is that GROWTH & COMFORT cannot coexist. Needless to say, I got {SniTch} slapped with the hard truth this last month. I had gotten too comfortable in my daily routine of “survival” and I crashed HARD.
I’ve been crossing some rough terrain and building bridges to overcome these obstacles. As I conquered each trial, I’ve gladly been burning those bridges behind me, with nothing to show for my progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once my eyes watered. And it’s been easy to forget how far I’ve come.
The journey is far from over, but I’ve finished the first leg in record time. My homie, Dr. Ben, hit me from all angles this week and I’m POOPED... I haven’t even had the time to Get back Up before the next treatment ultimate punched me in the back of the head.
For now, I'm just praying for all the good vibes and strength to GET BACK UP this weekend as I recover from the week and get ready to take off again.
For a quick glance into my week, updates, treatments, my Live Blood Analysis and plenty of disgusting photos... READ ON.
--------------------------------------------------------
The Week of Runnin' it Back
Travel Day
First and foremost, this trip's travel day was exponentially better in comparison to May. 5 months ago, I had been receiving IV vitamins, anti-inflammatory medications and a steroid from The Mayo Clinic to combat my pain. Unfortunately, said steroid caused me to swell like I've never swelled before and blow up like a scared pufferfish!!
***(I WENT FROM 170lbs - 194lbs IN 2 WEEKS TIME!)***
Like... whaattt????
(Them is HEIFER FEET)
However, after our trip last May, I became severely ill and began my roller coaster of Herxheimer reactions (aka Herxing) and lost about 15 of those LBS in about 8 days. Evidently, when you violently puke, detox parasites and have no appetite - You're gonna shed some L-Bs.
Thankfully, I've now lost all of that puffy Marshmallow weight and am [almost] back to my usual Glittery self and am looking much more alive.
Day 1
‣ Live Blood Analysis
What in the what is this?!
This is one of the most unique experiences that you get to witness while at Dr. Calzada's clinic. With only a small prick of your finger, we are able to see LIVE red blood cells under an exceptionally high-powered microscope called a Dark Field Microscope. Very high powered and VERY expensive.
It was great to see my homie, Dr. Ben again and take our first look at what all those months of hell did for me. We look at sooo many things up on a big computer screen that is hooked up to the microscope. This allows us to immediately see my progress, my overall blood and cell health, as well as small insights as to what I'm feeling.
Here's what we found!
Cell Shape
First and foremost, we analyze the overall shape of my blood cells.
In May, my blood cells were a TRAIN WRECK. "Normal/healthy" blood cells should be a malleable perfect circle with smooth outlined walls (as shown below).
Blood Cells in May show an alarming amount of cells called "Lemon Cells" which indicate extreme inflammation as well as Bartonella Cells that look like a Flail...(You know, those spiked balls on a chain that Vikings used to use!)
This time, however, things are looking a lot SMOOTHER and finally filled in rather than looking like donuts (signaling low B vitamins or Iron).
Here's a look inside my veins:
Lemon Cells
Shaped like a teardrop, these cells show inflammation.
Ghost Cells
Blurred out and clear cells which indicate a deficient in my nutrient absorption, meaning that all the vitamins and minerals that I eat aren't being absorbed and utilized properly - so I still need a little help from IVs and vitamin supplements to press the issue.
Bartonella
Evidence of my lingering co-infection Bartonella is still present but not NEARLY to the extent that it was back in May. These cells are the shape of a Flail (as mentioned above) and quite obviously HURT...the cells aren't smooth and slippery and resemble a million cockleburs sliding through your veins at the same time. YIKES.
The Dirtbag Lymies
Lastly, we looked for those nasty spirochete Lymies but found NONE!!! This is a big reason to celebrate!! However, this does NOT mean that I no longer have Lyme.... it simply means that we didn't find bacteria in that single drop of blood. Lyme bacteria infiltrates bloodstream, nervous system, muscle tissues, bone fibers, bodily fluids, and etc.
We know that my Lyme has a pretty tight hold on my muscles and central nervous system from the amount of pain I am still experiencing. For this reason, Dr. Ben thought it best for me to undergo ONE MORE ROUND of antibiotics. DAMMIT.
This was a big rainy cloud on the week. These antibiotics react similarly to chemotherapy and is also similarly very effective... Meaning: it does a great job at KILLING - not just the Lymies, but everything else in it's way as well - my stomach, my appetite, my energy, my strength, my hair, my ears, my immune system.... the whole 9.
‣ Ionized Foot Bath
What in the what is this?!
If you follow my journey on any level of social media, you've assuredly seen my tasty looking Foot Detoxes! Essentially, feet are placed into a nice warm tub of water, salt, and some electromagnetic something or others which PUULLLSS all those nasty heavy metals and "Gunk" out the bottom of your feet.
To sweeten the deal, I get to enjoy a nice exfoliating mini reflexology massage. What a great way to start the day!
All of the various colors and consistency of the foot bath Gunk dictates where that heavy metal was pulled from in your body.
For example:
∙ Yellow Flecks: Detox from kidneys, urinary tract, and bladder
∙ Orange Flecks: Detox from joints
∙ Brown Flecks: Detox from liver
∙ White/Black Foam: Detox from lymphatic system
∙ Red Flecks: Detox from blood clot material
Here's a look at my Soup de Jour. YUMMO!
Here's a quick snapshot of my visit in May(column 1) and my visit now(column 2). It doesn't look like I'm doing all that great, huh?! Well, detoxes always look pretty gruesome because of the onslaught of chemicals, heavy metals and pollutants that assault our body on a daily basis.... but alas.... for now, I'm all CLEANED out.
‣ Daily Chelation
What in the what is this?!
This is simply a daily Intravenous bag full of: Vitamins B12, Magnesium, B17, Anti-Inflammatory, Immune Booster, AntiOxidants, and basically just: THE WORKS.
This is where our lovely Nurse Olivia works in the community room. She is so full of life and light - giving the greatest hugs and good morning kisses to each and every patient. She's also NEVER had to poke me more than ONCE when hooking up an IV. She is highly skilled and highly motivated to brighten everybody's day. We love Olivia.
‣ Daily Injections
What in the what is this?!
And alas, the highly sought after Stem Cell Injections. I am still too weak to receive the Super Cell injections (your typical EMBRYO Stem Cells) and have to use our close cousin: "SHARK" Stem Cells.
*Important distinction: "Shark Cells" aren't injecting live stem cells from a shark.... they are simply the catalyst used to reactivate your own stem cells. I won't be growing any fins, tails, or 100+ razor sharp teeth! Lol.
I get to decide where I put my 'small dose' of 5 million stem cells each and every day. Today, we attacked my highest pain area - right and left ribcage; BETWEEN the ribs. A nice and soft canvas for Dr. Ben to shove that lovely needle.
After Ben hit a particularly tender spot that he later revealed was a nerve he kept bumping, I told him that I'd take great pleasure in punching him in the face because of how much it hurt. Without skipping a beat, he quipped back with a nice, "That's weird... I haven't felt a thing." *deadpan face*
* Additionally, I "get" to have a DAILY shot right in the peach cheek. Yup... Pearl Harbor status! (Why do shots in the butt hurt SO MUCH?!) Each day, this shot consists of different "super boosts" like Immune Support,
Dr. Benji-MON
Needless to say, I was extremely blessed to be put into Dr. Ben's care. There are multiple head doctors at the clinic and I lucked out!! His personality and keen awareness of the younger generations make our relationship easy to navigate and quickly discern our best course of action. Although he often makes me cry during injections and brutal therapy days, I am typically always smiling as I walk out of his door... sometimes with a few candies or chocolate bars from his secret stash under the desk. haha!
We were lucky to connect quickly during my last visit and slid effortlessly back into our easy banter this time as well. He truly cares about his patient's quality of life and taking care of not only their current physical ailments but also their mental / emotional hardships. He hurts when we hurt and it is evident he spends a significant amount of time with us to insure we are satisfied with our visits.
(Photos from May and Now - looking much better!)
Day 2
‣ Blood Ozone
What in the what is this?!
Blood Ozone Therapy is something that I've actually been doing for several years now!! {If you don't remember... this is the therapy that gave me THE BENDS and pushed Ozone straight through my PIIC Line and up to my heart... ha!)
But never fret, in MX they do things a bit differently. Rather than SUCKING the blood out of my vein with a pressurized bottle and PUSHING it back in with the same pressurized bottle (hence the air being pushed too fast and too hard into my little black heart!), they take out a gallon sized syringe and simply pull it out by hand. Safer but also a bit disgusting. Check that thing out!!
Once they have approximately 2 gallons of my pearly black blood, they add a gas called Ozone (that's O3 - not our usual O2) and mix it into said blood. This gas instantly turns my blood a beautiful bright and glow-y red. Next? They just put it back in. That's it. The End.
If you're wondering:
But WHY?!
Welp, this therapy is based upon the premise that autoimmune diseases, bacteria, fungi, and other nasties cannot thrive or grow within an oxygenated environment.
In other words, if Ozone is introduced into my bloodstream, all of those Creepy Crawlies can't keep on crawlin' OR reproducing. Likewise, a nicely oxygenated blood stream aids in transporting the necessary vitamins, medications and Stem Cells that I get throughout the day as well! It's a win-win-win-win-win..... you get the point.
‣ Daily Chelation
Same ol' Same IV bags that turn your pee neon! Longggg hours in those dang chairs.
‣ Daily Injections
Today, I needed some lovin' up my spine. Specifically, up my sciatic nerve running up my lower back. Dr. Ben doubled up my injections today and loaded my back with a whopping 10 million Stem Cells! Needless to say, I was extremely sore. We went straight back to the hotel and I could only rest on my stomach.
Additionally, Day 2 always comes with an exceptionally painful Butt Shot - the medicine goes in like Molasses!(Slow, thick, painful) My Cheek Shot also just so happened to be on the same side of my body as my injections too... sleeping was rough, but I managed about 4 hours give or take. (Rough).
Day 3
"And on Wednesdays.... WE WEAR PINK."
- Mean Girls
‣ Lymphatic Massage
What in the what is this?!
Although this is very relaxing, it's not exactly the kind of massage that most people associate with. Specifically, it's a Lymphatic Massage that focuses on the release of toxins that are built up within cells, muscles, veins/arteries, etc. While it feels amazing, the "flow" doesn't follow your typical pattern you expect during your normal Swedish Massage.
Because of the release of these harmful toxins, the good feelings you have during the experience is SOON replaced by an all over ache and intense "sickness" similar to having the flu. That being said, I usually get pretty sick and am puking violently less than an hour later. I was in luck though - I had a rough morning and didn't eat breakfast. No breakfast? Nothing to throw up!! Now THAT'S a Glitter Lining!
‣ Daily Chelation
Another day, anotha dolla. :) Cash that in.
Chelations take a looongg time and entertainment is paramount in keeping your sanity. Our favorite things to do are: Reading our Kindles, listening to music or watching YouTube vids, playing Candy Crush, Talking to other patients, and trying not to cry.
‣ Daily Injections
Today, my rough morning was due to a violent migraine headache. Although the Lymphatic Massage helped loosen some overly tense muscles in my neck and head, I was still in significant pain. My headaches seem to resinate from the base of my skull and radiate their evilness upward and down the front of my forehead, finally settling into their home behind my eyes.
Dr. Ben went pretty hard on my neck and these are always by far the most painful injection sites!! As you can see, Ben not only had me walking out of his office with chocolate, but he actually had me smiling DURING the injection at one point. (I don't know if that's a testament to how amazing Doc Ben is or if it proves that my emotional responses to pain have become quite skewed!!) hahah But I digress, he was amazing and again gave me a few extra million today to help stop the pain and spasms.
‣ ‣ ‣ ‣
Tour Time!
Last trip, we were unable to go on the City Tour that the clinic offers to their patients because I was FAR too sick. This time, I powered through. We got through my therapies for the day in record time and even got to rest for a few hours before leaving in vans to the market.
We stopped by several leather stores, mini malls, and a market. My favorite part was the market!! Our driver, Frankie, was an excellent tour guide and was overly personable and social.
**(He reminded me of the hilarious undercover driver/MI6 agent with the ridiculous accent from the Melissa McCarthy movie "Spy"... ringing any bells?? hahahha)
Anyhow, the street markets are very different in Mexico and all produce, nuts, seeds, fruits, and etc that are set out for sale, is also open for sampling!! I can't even count the amount of times we asked Frankie, "What is THAT?!" and he'd promptly ask the salesperson for a mini spoon or slice of the food in question. With this, I expected the market sellers to act upset or expect us to then buy whatever we just sampled for free.
Could you imagine walking into your local produce section in the States and taking a handful of grapes out of the bag to try out before purchasing them or not?! hahaha Surely not. It was fun to try so many new flavors and interesting foods I'd never heard of and had NO CHANCE of pronouncing the name. To be honest, I didn't like very much of it. LOL However, I did leave with a dessert that resembles our American fudge which had a Butterscotch/Caramel flavor to it.
Our last stop on the tour was a beautiful seafood dinner right on the ocean in Baja. I was able to eat an incredible dish of Grilled Shrimp that was stuffed with a cheese/crab and then wrapped with Bacon!
MOUTH. WATERING. And a perfect end to the long day.
Day 4
‣ Ionized Foot Bath
Yep. ^ ^ ^ ^
‣ Blood Ozone Therapy
‣ Daily Chelation
More long days and gettin' comfy in the Ozone room to start my daily IVs. But Mama kisses can cure ANYTHING. {Boredom, anxiety, chills, fevers, cold sweats, spasms, pain, numbness... )
‣ Nutrition Consultation
What in the what is this?!
This is one of my FAVORITE parts of my time at the clinic. We start this meeting off by getting on a machine that measures EVERYTHINGGG. I'm talkin' overall weight, skeletal weight, lean muscle weight, body mass index, how much my right arm weights, my left arm, each of my legs, water weight, bone density... THE. LIST. GOES. ON.
I love it.
After we have a rough estimate on what my body is made of, we get to focus on goals of how to effectively change what it's made of with the diet I am allowed. As mentioned, my last visit was filled with "I CAN'T BE 195 LBS!!" But this trip was actually focused on rebuilding some muscle mass I've lost (down nearly 7 lbs of muscle since May!! UGHHH) and getting my appetite back. It was amazing to look at both of my readings and see such amazing results and immediate areas where I want to be BETTER.
Next, we talk about FOOD. YES PLEASE.
Together, we decide what foods and meals will help me the most as I continue to fight this beast of a disease. Most importantly, I have now had to adopt a fully Gluten-Free / Sugar-Free / Dairy-Free diet. I am not allergic to these foods, nor do I get any bathroom issues or vomiting after eating them... but my body SCREAMS in aches and pains.
WHY?! Because Gluten and Sugar FEED those Creeper Crawlers and energize (therefore MOBILIZING) all my Lymies. So rather than making them work to hurt me, I've just given them a caffeine
boost to go wreak havoc in my body. For the reason, eating clean and shifting my diet so drastically hasn't been a huge challenge mentally. I can immediately feel the difference in my body, energy, mood, and overall pain levels when I make the right decisions.
* And while we're talking about FOOD....
We admittedly have some difficult times trying to find yummy but safe food to eat in a country that seems to be familiar.... but Cafe Rio isn't quite the sort of food we see in Tijuana. hahah
I wish I could say we tried new foods and were brave, but it's pretty tough to be a huge risk taker when most food in AMERICA makes you sick... now throw in some unknown ingredients, things you can't even say (let alone READ), and try to put your brave face on as you navigate blindly!
Additionally, it was just us girls and we walked everywhere... so it goes without saying that once it got dark, we were confined to our room! Likewise, after a day FULL of poking and prodding and aches and pains.... I rarely wished to go out. After treatments were over for the day, I was crawling back into bed as soon as possible.
Here was our general "go to" for ALL 5 DAYS - Every. Single. Day.
Breakfast:
This was definitely the one meal I looked forward to each and every day!! Below the clinic, is an amazing little bistro that has only NATURAL foods... meaning weirdos like ME can order ANYTHING and still be safe on my Gluten-Free / Sugar-Free diet.
Our go to orders were Avocado Toast and fruit smoothies.
Lunches:
Unfortunately, we skipped lunch most days since we were in the clinic all day and never knew when our next treatment would begin! We ate a lot of snacks like Gluten-Free pretzels, Larabars, Almonds, and more Smoothies from the Cafe.
Dinners:
We frequently visited an amazing diner called the Villa Marina. This is the place that has the incredible fresh pineapple ice cream - and YES! WE DID PARTAKE!!!
Additionally, we ordered their chicken and potatoes most nights along with LOTS AND LOTS of corn tortilla chips and fresh guac. YUM!
Snacks:
Going back to our Natural Bistro below the Clinic, I would grab a Smoothie Bowl (basically a massive Acai bowl) on our walk back to the hotel each afternoon. I'd stick it in the fridge and eat it at around 11:00 pm when my insomnia kicked in. hahah
We also had a very small selection of snacks in the lobby of our hotel. They claimed to be "American Friendly"... and therefore, there were some Cheetos, Ice Cream bars, and Popcorn.
‣ Daily Injections
My last day of injections focused on my right shoulder blade area. I was experiencing some horrendous muscle spasms and the most pain I've been in since last May. My treatments were cut short so that I could get my injections earlier in the day (which Ben added a big blast of Lidocaine to - PHEW).
Day 5
‣ Daily Chelation
‣ Continuing Treatment and WHAT'S NEXT?!
Welp... as mentioned above, I'm not quite done with my antibiotic treatments and will immediately begin a long 60 day treatment on Tetracycline. (Yucckkk) I hope to not lose quite so much hair this time around and learn how to effectively detox my body as the freshly killed Lymies pile up within my body. Fingers crossed.
Additionally, Dr. Ben has upped my ante and because my immune system and overall health is significantly better than it was during my last visit, we're bringing out the big guns. My Herxing reactions are expected to be VIOLENT and IMMEDIATE this time around but nothing will be left alive inside these veins when we're through with them. I will also have multiple "Death Pills" to take that will gut me on the daily. I am very nervous for what the next 2 months of treatment but I know we're on the right path and I'm making great progress. I assure you, you'll be hearing about my windy road and fun experiences I get to have for ROUND 2.
LET'S DO IT, PEEPS!!
Peace.
