Bring me Back

Chills in my veins.

They're hollow and brittle,

my spine shrinks away

from my shivering heart.

I feel numb and useless.

my world isn't mine,

people just live around me.

My Story

That morning, I knew my plot. 

And I knew who I was.

But a few things have changed since then.

My pages are damp, ripping along the edges.

Suddenly, all of my stars were falling and at that exact moment;

everything. single. thing. about my story changed.

Forever.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have, 

for 6 months, and thousands of pages.

For so long, I had a chapter that I couldn't read aloud.

And suddenly, another chapter was added to that list. 100 pages.

There are two types of pains; one that hurts you and others that change you.

The pain I felt hanging on for the one thing that just dropped me... 

Well, sometimes you get the brightest light from a burning bridge. 

I was no longer a prisoner of something I couldn't change.

And they tried to bury me, but didn't know I was a seed.

I came to a point where I knew I needed to just fall apart.

I needed the opportunity to rebuild myself the way I wished I'd been all along.

And years from now, in retrospect, these times of struggle will strike me as the most beautiful.

Everyone has been through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they were before. 

And now I can tell my story without crying, so I know I've healed. 

Life is tough, but oh, so am I.

This work is tough enough, and they'll judge you and tear you down no matter what.

I don't know the key to happiness but the key to failure is trying to please everyone else. 

In the end, the only ones who truly care are the ones who hear you when you're quiet.

But sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

I had to step back and find that there are so many beautiful reasons to be happy.

A smile is even more brilliant when it has struggled through tears.

How we walk when we are broken speaks louder than how we sit while we are great.

So life knocked me down 9 times, but this time.... I rolled over to look at the stars.

Now I'm thankful for my struggle because without it, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strengths.

No one will ever dull my sparkle. 

I continue to shine.

The difference now is that I believed I could;

so I did.

Nothing will ever dim an inner light 

and I will win, not immediately, but definitely.

What it Takes

I can feel the hollowness in my chest,

but everyone said it's for the best.

And I'm out here drowning

hiding my pain with smiles, never growing.

And I watch with troubled eyes as you rest,

and slip away with every breath.

I stare at the stars above and wonder

if I'm still the one you're dreaming of.

Cuz underneath the darkness, my light is trying so hard to be seen...

I know this, cuz there's a little bit shining through my seams.

It's all been taken

and I've never been so shaken.

But if this is what it takes, I'll be the one to bear the pain.

And if this is what it takes, 

I'll build up the wall that won't ever break.

You keep telling me that I'll be fine,

but I'm barely treading water and you're

never home on time.

I don't even know what I'm trying to do,

I just know, I'm a fool for you.

Cuz underneath, this darkness,

Our light is trying so hard to be seen.
And I knew us, and I've noticed a little

bit shining through our seams...

And I've been through all this pain,

Cuz nothing is the same.

But this is what it takes. 

And I may not understand yet,

but sometimes I forget

that I don't have to do this on my own.

You're my shoulder to lean on,

my right when I feel wrong. 

I need to take your hand and just move on..

And this is what it takes,

to let you be the one to bare my pain.

Break down my walls that are in your way 

That's what it'll take.