A Day for The Mamas

For the last 6 months, as I’ve learned to accept my “new” self and new identity as a mother, I found myself resenting my lack of personal space, “ME” time, and all of the simple mundane tasks I used to take for granted before I became a mom. And I held extreme guilt for having these thoughts and feelings... was I a horrible mom for thinking these things?! I absolutely LOVE my baby girl and would do anything for her happiness. She is the reason I get to smile and laugh EVERY SINGLE DAY and she makes me feel so “light.” I could just cry I love her so damn much. But I can also honestly and realistically say.... I didn’t understand hearing the phrases like, “I can’t imagine my life without you in it” or “my life wasn’t complete until you came to this world...”

And I would say to myself: 

“UM HELL YES, I can veryyyy much imagine life before motherhood!!!!” 

I had ample time to SLEEP, I could EAT whenever and whatever I wanted to, I could SHOWER without stress or rushing through my routine, if I wanted to leave the house.... I COULD, I didn’t have CONSTANT fear and worry pulsing through my heart at every moment of the day, and I sure as hell didn’t have these ugly STRETCH MARKS and 25+ lbs to lose “before my baby” **** 😳 

***** {okkayyy, bring on the haters for “shaming” my mom bod and not instantly falling in love with motherhood} 

...but guess what.... I’m human.... with needs and limitations. And being a MOM is freaking HARD!! 

But here comes the good stuff; I promise.... 

Through all of this CHANGE, however, I’ve only grown even more fond and find myself absolutely WORSHIPPING my own mother {and ALL of the amazingly strong and beautiful mothers who surround me daily} for the woman she is and the INCREDIBLE job she did as my mother, and uniquely; as my best friend. 

I have found such a deep appreciation and humbled respect for the title “mother.” You THINK you understand the level of sacrifice, time, energy, love, and sleepless nights mothers' devote to their children; until your autonomy completely ceases to exist.

I have no doubt my mother had some of the exact same feelings I’ve had over the last 6 months, and yet I distinctly remember “crashing” her bubble bath EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. growing up.... She would take her bath and I would sit on the edge of the tub to stick my feet in and just...... talk.

I’m overwhelmed with emotion today, as I reflect on all of those absolutely precious moments of my childhood that my mom sacrificed {once again} her time and energy for silly conversations with a 6 year old...... and let’s be honest; this even happened when I was 25. No doubt, what she was truly trying to do was to enjoy just 20-30 minutes of blissful peace and quiet in the evenings (like I do now!) and yet, when I came knocking on that bathroom door...... she’d smile and immediately wave me in. 

Mothers are incredible. Yes, I’m now a MOM but I don’t think I’ve quite earned the title of “MOTHER” yet. Someday I hope to be even half as selfless, patient, attentive, caring, and loving as my own mother was.... and still is!



Motherhood is a superhuman job.

I love you, Mama!!

 

Happy Mother’s Day to my best friend Cinnyyy, my beautiful Mother in Law (Rebzzz), Brooke, Lex, Ken, Grandmas on all sides, Aunties, Self-Appointed Aunties, My God Mama, and allll the other women in my life.

I'm so blessed to have baddie women like YOU all as role models and prime examples of motherhood. 

XxoOxXoOoXx 

Dia Dos....or is it Dos Dia? Help a White Girl Out.

Welp, today began pretty fast... as in, my head was spinning so fast it felt like I was on Space Mountain. I spent A LOT of my morning attempting to stand, only to immediately need to put my head between my legs or just straight up get to the ground as fast as possible before I involuntarily hit the ground from 6 feet in the air. Most days, this survival tactic works, however, today my head and eyes were rollin' even when I laying flat on the ground. 

Sooo, I had to concede to reacquainting myself with the damned wheelchair and helplessly sitting there while Cindy continuously runs me off of curbs, hits walls and doorjambs and runs over her 87th toe. Heaven help us.  

We eventually made it to the clinic and immediately began my Chelation IV to get some fluids circulating and my anti-inflammatories, B vitas, and etccccc.... I just know it's supposedly a lot of helpful ish. So whatever. 

After the IV (no bloody disasters today, yay!) I got to have my Lyphatic Massage. IT. WAS. HEAVEN. and that's all I got to say about that. 

Next was my favorite hour of the whole trip when I get to see Pilar for my Nutrition Consult. Our first item of biznatch is to do a full body scan that analyzes not only your weight, but your BMI, lean muscle, fat percentages, how much your right/left arms and legs weigh, your hydration content, and soooooo on. It literally gives you everything but COVID. 

With this information, we go over goals and insights to gain optimal health and recovery for what MY individual body needs to thrive or achieve my nutritional goals. She then bids us a farewell and gets to work on a complete write up and packet of: snacks, meals, recipes, grocery list items, and a full day to day meal plan formulated specifically for ME, based on what we discussed. It's amazing and SO informative. We love Pilar!! 

Last but not least, it was Hokey Pokey injection time. First, I got stabbed in the buttcheek for my Day 2 booty booster shot, which is full of all sorts of helpful STUFF. Not actually sure anymore, I've forgotten now. 

Moving forward..... 

Today, we did my shoulder blade injections. I swear there were like 40 pokes...it was never ending! That is, until I reminded Dr. Ben that we needed to hurry and decide on a game to play... so he started naming Harry Styles songs on each shot but ran out of songs by injection #3. (Obvi not a true fan) Sooo he skipped on over the our fave boy band, One Direction and sang Night Changes to me as he finished up for the day. I have to say; not too shabby of a voice. hahah 

After my injections with Ben, I told him all about my rough morning and how I'd been blacking out again. He decided to go grab me a homeopathic remedy to engage the anti-inflammatory medication I received earlier that day and to also aid in my goal to eat ONE meal today. 

He returned to the room with a shot glass of what looked like water, but I was informed by him that it was Tequila. This being the case, I insisted he partake as well...soooo, we had a little toast and "cheers" before knocking back our Tequi ... ok, it was just sugar water. I've never done a real shot in my life. 

Anywayyy. Yet again, a tough day was made better by my BioAdvance team. Now we get to head over to our favorite restaurant and hope like hell I can actually eat....mostly because their homemade Pineapple Ice Cream is CALLING MY NAME. Wish me luck and send prayers. 

PEACE OUT. 

Mee-he-ho: Back At it aGAINNN

Day 1 - ready for action! 

FIRST ITEM OF BIZ-NATCH:

My Live Blood Consult: 

Yikessss I was nervous about how bad this would look. Truth is, my blood was looking pretty darned good in January of 2020. I was thriving and strong and on my way! 

Buuutttt luckily, while the world was ending - I created a miracle sooo... I can’t even be mad.

But I digress, if you’re new to the blog, this first consultation is where we do our “Live Blood Analysis.” This is step #1 in figuring out how I’m doing and what Lymie stage I’m in. All it takes is a tiny prick on the finger and we get to look at my blood LIVE - right in front of me; on big monitors - as Dr. Ben (he’s my homie at the Clinic) analyzes and tells me how I only have a few days to live................ like, really. He thinks he’s hilarious. {ok he’s pretty funny} 

Anyway, once my progress is determined, we know what kind of treatments I’ll need to do throughout the week to best aid in killing those demon bastards. 

Anywayyyy, the Analysis went GREAT. We did find some of those ugly double headed Satan's swimming around, but my blood looks better than Ben expected....definitely worse than last January, but still not HORRIBLE. I’ve got backwards only a little bit. Which I'll consider a WIN since COVID made us take an entire year off of our murder mission on Mr. Lymie. 

Additionally, we saw a lot of inflammation (which is my main source of pain) and a significant amount of nerve damage, as well as evidence of Babesia present in my blood once again. DAMMIT. 

This is a rough one, since Babs is the co-infection that most highly relates to severe fatigue and having constant flu-like symptoms with low grade fevers/chills. 


Next on my list of therapy, we did my 

Blood Ozone Therapy:

 

This is where they take like A GALLON of my blood out (well... it SEEMS like a gallon, Lol) ...then oxygenate it with O3 aka Ozone and put it back in. 

This is done to create an oxygen rich environment in my body, since Viral Infections and  Lyme Spirochetes can not survive or thrive (reproduce) in Oxygenated environments. 

Next, we did my daily Chelation (IV mixture):

Each day, I'll be getting an IV bag of fluids that include a whole cocktail of necessary "boosts" for my Lymie blood. In a typical bag, I will receive: 

Alkalizing Fluids

Balanced Electrolytes

B Complex 

Methylated B-12 

Vitamin C

Magnesium

Zinc

B-6 

Glutathione 

Additionally, during our consultation, I explained to Dr. Ben how my throat had been hurting and I've been having an extremely hard time eating for nearly a week now. Because of the inflammation in my esophagus, swallowing and eating has been nearly impossible. Soooo, I was also given a little shot of anti-inflammatory medications. 

And last, but not least... my daily Stem Cell Injections: 

Each day, I get to choose WHERE my injection sites will be for the day. This includes getting 10-15 injections in said "sites" for optimal penetration of the stem cells to attack my problem areas FIRST, before spreading through the rest of my body. 

Today, I received 1 large stem cell shot spread out over 12 injection sites into the base of my skull, down my neck, and across my traps. 

YES. These are extremely painful, but Dr. Ben and I always try to make up a game to distract me... or we end up listening to Harry Styles for some good mood vibes. (NO JUDGEMENT...)

Today, we played a counting game. Before each injection, Dr. Ben would count "1...2...3..." in a different language and I would have to guess what language it was in. Needless to say, when we were done, I had no idea that I had just received 12 INJECTIONS!!! OUCHHH! 

Ohhhhh....let's never forget the blissful BOOTY SHOT each and every day to put the cherry on top of the long day. And of course the shot isn't a "wham bam, thank ya m'am" type vibe... it's a freaking peanut butter consistency shit show of a needle that is as big around as a corndog....Lolll fun stuff. 

Overall, we had a great day and I'm feeling relatively "normal" considering my day of POKES AND PRODS. I'm currently icing my neck, heating my spasming shoulder blades and watching the Spanish TV version of the Hangover 3. What a day. 

PS: 

Side note...couldn't go through an entire day without a SMALL disaster. I mean, I'm still ME. I was dripping blood everyyy wherreeee. Dangit.

 

 

ANDDDD another side note! Cindy was super brave and had her knee injections today too. She didn't cry either! YOU GO GIRL...