Day 2 in MX (A "Low Low Loowww Valley Day)

  

I had a wonderful and savory piece of this Dove Dark Chocolate on the plane ride on Sunday and somehow, I had a feeling that this was a quote I needed to save and remember at some point in this new journey of mine.

I just didn't realize I would need it so soon. 

This quote rang very true and hit all the feels with me today. And I needed to read it several times throughout the day to help me take just one breath at a time. And still... it was just 

"one of those days"

From the moment I woke up, I was feeling pain more severe than my previous 3 months combined. Deep aches from the tip top of my head to the very smallest pinky toe on each foot. 

Even each breath was a struggle.

By the time we made our walk over to the clinic, a spasm attack had already started onto its warpath it so often likes to take. Once began, unless taken care of rapidly by oral and/or IV medications as well as laying down in bed with about 10 pillows, 3 heat packs, and as many prayers that I can mutter in a minute...

I'm in for many many long hours in my own personal hell. 

Added to this intimately known pain, I was also exceptionally sore in the injection sites between my shoulder blades, where the stem cells were administered yesterday. I would try to compare it to the soreness that anyone would get after receiving any other kind of shot... but about 20 times higher on my pain scale...

Soooo.. this is making it difficult to even lay down in bed to rest from the whole ordeal since I'm laying back directly onto those injection sites (I also received an additional 6 shots today directly down my spine and beneath my bra strap).  

Most importantly, however, these attacks cause a very difficult emotional journey for not only myself but for everyone around me as well. Unfortunately, this pain is born out of the inability to really know how help/assist me in any way. Not even I know the secret to shortening these attacks or how to ease the pain.  

I can always very literally FEEL the helplessness and sadness radiating from my lovely mother, amazing husband, and from all of the nurses surrounding me..... of course, this is all additional emotional pain felt with my own very heavy load of turmoil. 

To put it lightly, I'm exhausted... but unable to truly rest. 

But tomorrow, I will try again. 

Here's a toast for a hopeful day of pain-free treatments tomorrow, along with about a 14+ hour sleep tonight.

That's it for today.

I'm out.