The Monster Inside

I have a monster in my body, he was buried deep inside, 

but now he’s come to play and refuses to leave or hide.

I have a monster in my body, he took my passion; volleyball, 

part of a team and part of the legacy that was suddenly nothing at all.

I have a monster in my body, he’s a sneaky little bitch; 

pulling negative tests and diagnosis so Docs say I’m a glitch.

I have a monster in my body, he makes loving me seem tough; 

no energy to look pretty and no drive to be enough.

I have a monster in my body, he’s blowing out our flame, 

where once it was an inferno; now it’s just not the same.

I have a monster in my body, he whispers such ugly things; 

silent cries soak my pillow and the tear tracks always sting.

I have a monster in my body, he ripped the confidence from my throat, 

I stare at my affirmations and don’t understand what I even wrote.

I have a monster in my body, he took my right to stand. 

Now I limp around my house, hoping it’s soft when I land.

I have a monster in my body, he says things I’d never say, 

he freezes my heart and makes me wonder why my husband even stays.

I have a monster in my body, he whispers I’m not worthy; 

my self image takes the hit, and I’m starting to get worried.

I have a monster in my body, he creeps into nightly dreams, 

I wake up drenched in pain and bleeding at the seams.

I have a monster in my body, he put hot coals in my feet; 

I’m forced to walk through the fire or just stay in my seat.

I have a monster in my body, he’s a real social ass. 

He reminds me I’m standing still as everyone else’s life can pass.

I have a monster in my body, he laughs as he sees me fall; 

I keep trying to Get Up 10, but lately I can’t get up at all.

I have a monster in my body, he took my daughter’s mother.... 

she looks at me confused, since she’s forced to love another.

I have a monster in my body, he thinks he’s here to stay, 

but here comes my next treatment; he’s about to seriously pay.

I have a monster in my body, he’s shown me pain I could never describe,

but as I walk into BioMed Clinic, I see hope... I see my tribe.

I have a monster in my body, he loves burning through my veins, 

but looking up at my IV, I know soon he’ll be in pain.

I have a monster in my body, he takes form inside lazy docs, 

so what he doesn’t see coming will knock him off his block.

I have a monster in my body, he thinks he’s got me beat, 

but as I get my next injection; he’s getting quite a treat.

I have a monster in my body, he’s taken my pride; 

so I try to feel grateful for the strength I’ve found inside.

There was a monster in my body, he thought he could break me down. 

But what he didn’t realize happened; is there’s now a WARRIOR beneath this CROWN.