Her Country Roads Lead Me Home

She taught me how to drive. 

And She taught me how to cuss.

She taught me what hard 

work looks like.

And She taught me how to load more than just a dishwasher.


…Her country roads showed me my home.







She taught me that at the end of each day,
It’s OK if my feet were dirty and my hair was a mess…
as long as my eyes were sparkling like Her stars.

…Her country roads taught me about home. 

 She taught me that girls never retreat; we reload.
And She made me believe that whatever doesn’t kill me, better run.
So don’t let the makeup and perfume confuse you now,
She’s taught me how to go from makeup to mud in 3 seconds flat.


…Her country roads reminded me of home.

Because the outside of a mountain is good for the inside of a Girl.
She has made music for those who are patient enough to listen.
and Her heartbeat can be felt in the water, trickling down the creek by that old dirt road.
And at night, Her clear Big Skies sprinkle diamonds in my hair.


...Because Her country roads lead me back home.

Some may call Her the middle of nowhere,
But I call Her the center of my world.
My home is deep in the trees, at the roots of Her Mountains.
And She may not be Heaven, but you can surely see it from here.

Because Her country roads will always be my home.

#GetUp10 #RanchGirlsDoItRIGHT #CountryGirl #Home #GodsCountry #LastBestPlace #Montana #StrongWomen #HardWork #GirlsandGuns #Reload #Unbreakable #BigSkyCountry #BigHoleValley #FishingGirls #HorsesFixEverything

* "She" is synonymous for "He" in this piece; referring to my Dad. The Ranch has always been "our" place and we hold Her a little closer to our hearts. And so, in extension, "She" wasn't the only one teaching me these things... but My Daddy did!!

Surround Yourself with Greatness

I just have to take the time to thank those of you who have sent SOO many amazing videos (of all different kinds!), those who have taken the time to come visit me both in/out of the hospital, those who have sang to me (My friends have SERIOUS talent!!!), those who have sent me packages full of goodies, those who have delivered my Acai bowls, DairyQueen or even kettle corn (S/O to the Zazzys!! 😂), those who have played with or have done my hair, those who have sent me notes and gifts and flowers.... and WOW! THANK YOU. Here are some favorites...

 

 

I am continuously humbled by the magnitude of selfless people around me. I am so blessed to be surrounded by greatness. I have aspired, throughout my whole life, to truly "Surround Myself with Greatness," or in other words, attract and surround myself with those who will continuously push me to be my best and inspire me to be a little better every single day. Through this trial, I have seen over and over and OVER again just how amazing my friends and family really are.  I'm speechless.

Here are a few examples of that GREATNESS I'm talking about: 

(Great Friend and Family, John Michael Montgomery and crew on the road - wishing me well!)

(Boise State Teammates singing to me in the hospital)

(My Amazing and FAVORITE Boys Volleyball team from Arizona saying hello 💛)

(Boise State Teammates singing to me in the hospital)

(My Boise State Volleyball Teammates wishing me well 💙)

 

(My Niece and Nephew telling me to feel better (and no, I don't have a snake? hahah

Duke- 5, Tatum- 3)

(BFFs & Brought me countless bags of Kettle Corn and Acai Bowls, Juan and Haley Zazueta 💛💞)

 

 

(Boise State Teammates singing to me in the hospital, they sang for over an HOUR... 

AMAZING TALENT)

 

(My ASU team finishing up our season without me, sending me love and well wishes)

(My father in law, Randy, is an incredible pianist but it's impossible to convince him to play for an audience... it took a trip to the hospital to get it!! Worth the wait.)

(Very close and dear Family Friends, Shara and little Jane -- she made me a bracelet posted above)

 (And last but ABSOLUTELY not least, my great friend WALKER MONTGOMERY (aka Aladdin) (Son of John Michael Montgomery) and incredible upcoming artist - go listen to his new single, "Simple Town")

Even in some of my darkest hours, I knew I was never truly alone. Not once did I question if I had support or wonder if I was walking this journey alone. I have had love and support and daily reminders that "my people" were always waiting on the sidelines cheering me on, as I ran this race toward recovery. 

This is nowhere near all of the countless photos and videos and gifts I received but I wanted to send out a HUGE THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart and share a few of my favorites (that I watched COUNTLESS times; at ALL hours of the day/night).

 Your prayers have been felt and they ARE answered. 

I love you all!! Thank you!! 

Baller to Blogger

“Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been, in order to stand up and be taller than you ever were.” #GetUp10 

🌟 We interrupt this program for a Public Service Announcement 🌟

I’ve had a lot of friends and family across the nation asking how I’ve been doing and what my latest tidbit is... and YES! I am now an official blogger... COMMENCE Judgment!

I, in no way, aspire to become a “blogger” but in order to spare my peeps on my Instagram and Facebook, who DON’T CARE about what’s going on orrr who care but don’t want to read a 3,000 word essay on “Kizzy’s issues, Season 3,” all of my stories and updates will be posted on my blog from now on.

If you’d like to read about my latest updates (and about any of my past fun and festive experiences as I’ve crawled and scraped my way through my road to recovery), PLEASE feel free to SUBSCRIBE (You'll get a notification whenever I post a new story) OR simply save the link below to read or re-read any of my adventures! 😃🌟😊 

getup10.blogspot.com

🌟PS, Here’s another PSA 🌟
Don’t worry about setting weekly reminders to read about the yawn jerking tales of Kizzam because:

A- I’m definitely not posting weekly (Well, maybe).

B- I’ll be sure to post a quick little photo (Mostly likely a photo that’s like 4 years old, one in Montana <shocker> Oh! Or one with my dog… Sorry not sorry) along with a mini recap to what my latest and greatest adventure is and when it will be available to read on my blog.

More interestingly, I’m excited to announce some major news I’ve been working on for the last several months 🙌🌟(NO, I’m not pregnant) but I’ll be posted the full reveal on my blog in the next few weeks! So, keep an eye out!!

CAN’T WAIT!!

Until then, keep calm and Kizzam on... 

#GetUp10 #ShineOn #LetYourLightSHINE #GLITTERLinings #NoOneCanDullMyInnerSparkle #Strength #Empower #SheThoughtSheCouldSoSheDid #Unbreakable #KnockMeDown #IllGetBackUp #SoldierOn #StandUp 

How to Love a Lady

Caress her face. Look into her eyes. SEE HER.

I don't claim to be an expert, but to me...

Love and romance are the time you spend NOT making love.

 It's the between times.

ALL of them.

Love is about a lot of things;

When you wake up in the middle of the night and kiss behind her ear,

ust because you crave to touch her skin.

It's  telling her she's beautiful, especially when she has no makeup on.

Spoil her.

Not with material things-- with time.

Give her all of your undivided attention. Shower her in your love.

Don't just make her "feel" like she's the only woman in the world;

Show her she IS the only woman in your world.

That's all that matters.

It's about staring at her and watching her dance around a crowded room,

and when she catches you... don't look away. 

Smile back and mouth "i love you."

It's about walking with your hand on her lower back and 

protecting her from not just others, 

but from herself and the harsh reality of self-confidence.

All relationships have one law;

Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you're there.

Vacationing in the 817 aka TX

Yes, this is a small novel and I hate reading long posts, so who knows why I continue this nonsense....but, I digress, for those who have been asking about my trip to Dallas, here you go!

It was fantastic.... I laid by the pool in 78 degree weather and read my kindle and relaxed and slept in and ate amazing food and...... just kidding. It sucked. But we can pretend right?! Reaching far for my glitter lining on this one.



But back to the medical stuff:

My doctors in Texas have actually found that my specific “PoTS” symptoms are actually more of an “Inflamatory PoTS” or, in other words, I have severe inflammation running rampant throughout my body. The inflammation in my body isn’t necessarily a problem but I now have a problem where the inflammation cells that have rushed to the area in the first place release chemicals which promote OTHER inflammation cells to rush to the area and NEVER stop replicating.. which CAN be a problem.

Because of this invasion of severe amounts of inflammation, my arteries, veins and ligaments have been taking a beating. Most importantly, there are increasing signs of inflammation build up inside my arteries and therefore, it's creating smaller and smaller passageways for blood to flow through to get all the way up into my Lioness heart. 💛
In my past and current blood tests, it has shown that my cholesterol is extremely high...but for those who know me, I obviously don’t eat four Big Macs for lunch every day (I’m lucky if I can eat ice for dinner some nights.... I mean COME ON, give a sister a break!) So, that being said, I should NOT have gunk inside my arteries. Upon looking closer, my arteries ARE gunked up but not because of a poor diet (as many immediately assume)... it’s the Inflammation.

It was also found that I have high levels of inflammation in my brain. Inflammation also can be a huge factor in changing small parts of my brain chemistry and impacting some major emotional chemicals and take over a large psychological presence in my life!! Many of these chemicals that may be altered are directly linked to feelings of OCD, anxiety, or even things as simple as easy irritability (So my husband can’t blame me for being a crazy psycho wife anymore... I’m like, “it’s my brain, boo!!")

Moving forward, I’ll be remedying the inflammation with some very specific anti-inflammatory medications as well as some basic vitamins and supplements to help get this blood rushing back through my Lioness heart more smoothly... 💛 In the last year or so, my body has been rebelling (I’m sure under the direction of Vinny the Virus) so I also haven’t been absorbing the necessary vitamins or nutrients through food or the current supplements I had been on. My body missed the memo about synthesizing or metabolizing these vital vitamins so my body could fight back against invaders like Vinny.

We also combed through my past records from my Wonderful Hospital Resort Vacation stays (I’d give them all a solid 1 star ⭐️ though...Maybe a 2 star for Mayo Clinic, 'cuz I'm feeling generous.) and discovered multiple blood tests I had done where doctors hadn’t revealed some key elements that seemed “out of range” of where normal levels should be.

Now, my friends, listen... I’m no mathematician but when someone’s adrenaline or more specifically my chemical, norepinephrine, SHOULD be between the numbers 200-400 and my readings come back at a whopping 2,200...........I’m almost positive that my numbers are a LITTLE “out of range.”
So yes!! Thank you Hospitals across the nation, for telling me my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight instinct) is not only stuck ON, but I’ve got a nice little mixed drink boost of freaking Red Bull, 5 Hour Energy AND NOS..... and my para sympathetic (what tells my bod to CHILL the frack OUT) is TOTALLY off. And I was wondering why I couldn’t sleep...... hmm.....

Anddd, from the studies they’ve conducted thus far in Texas, they believe severe inflammation has been one of the major underlying problems the whole 2.5 years I’ve been sick. But it was BECAUSE of the combo of Inflammatory issues, the PoTS and horrible blood volume/circulation that completely crashed my immune system and allowed Vinny the Virus to attack.




We are so blessed to have found this so that we can begin working to reverse the nerve, ligament and misc. damage it was causing!! My wonderful Doctor in Texas has Inflammatory PoTS herself and has PERSONALLY experienced everything I am now facing myself. It feels amazing to have someone who can finally understand what I am going through and how I’ve been suffering for nearly 3 years now. They often call this an “Invisible Illness,” as more often than not, you look completely healthy and strong... but inside your veins and nerves are burning and it feels like you have acid in your veins and a vise around your rib cage and... yes, the list goes on. But she SEES me and understands. I am now in good hands, ladies and gents!



I know this will be (and already has been) a hard journey. However, I take pride in never asking for an easier path. If I’m comfortable, I know I’m no longer growing.
For now, I am reassured that I am on the right road; which is most assuredly dirt. (NO 5-lane highway is going to be MY “right road”)

I will definitely have a lot of High Mountains and some very Low Valleys along my journey but if you know me at all, you'll know:
that the High Mountains call to me and the Low Valley is always where home will be waiting....

A Little Bit o' Dirt and a Whole lotta GLITTER

I will be forever grateful that I was raised as a Montana girl. I was raised knowing that the most difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations... and I’ll never apologize for the madness that created my Inner Warrior.

As I continue to grasp and search desperately for a light at the end of this bumpy tunnel, I KNOW there will be victory in my story. I just don’t know when, or how long this book will be.

But above all else, along this path, I’ve learned that “It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty... Either way, I still have water.” Here’s to another week of fighting and another week to just keep on grindin’. 🌟🌅

🌟 LET'S KEEP CALM...AND GLITTER ON! 🌟



#TheresTheGlitterPeople #SilverLinings #GlitterLinings 🌟🌟 #WeOutHereGrindin’ #GetUp10 #RoadsToRecovery #BeautifulDestinationsAhead 🌅💛🌄

⚠️ SMALL BIOGRAPHY AHEAD ⚠️

First, I have to apologize to my friends and family for not keeping anyone updated on my health in the last several weeks. I know your concerns and curiosities stem from the utmost love... THANK YOU!

I‘ve been grinding this past month or so over the holidays....But, I had promised myself the day I removed my PICC line, I’d take a break from all the poking, prodding, doctors and all hospitals/clinics alike. Like any other person who has experienced intensely traumatic days <or MONTHS, in my case> I had no choice but to work on my mental health and unfortunately, some PTSD/anxiety regarding my pain and anything to do with hospitals or doctors.

But of course, I was forced to break that promise and that deductible had been met in 2017 so...... all those pokes and prods were free for the rest of December..... you catch my drift??

Anywayyy... I “got” to revisit my lovely and longtime friends at the Mayo Clinic down in Arizona and I was quickly reminded that I needed to appreciate the rain while waiting on my rainbow. ️🌈



We have some long awaited answers and an optimistic outlook on helping treat a few of my symptoms. Right before Christmas, I was diagnosed with a heart and nerve ‘complication’, called “Postural orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome” or most usually referred to and recognized as “PoTS.”

With this, I have excessively low volumes of blood returning to my heart as I stand, walk and exercise. As many may remember, I have had a resting heart rate of over 105 for the past 5 months now. When I stand or walk, that bpm jumps to 170 or into the 180s. This has been a huge emotional burden on me as of late as I have tried to come to terms with my “new heart.” I will need to slowly recondition my heart to be able to withstand the kind of active lifestyle I once was so accustomed to.

It’s been a difficult transition in going from the highest of the high (athletically/physically) and to now find myself below rock bottom... kinda closer to the center of the earth.. like at the Molten Lava level. But shoot, it’s pretty warm there from what I hear... 🌅😎⛅



There is currently no cure for PoTS but there are precautions and some drastic diet changes that can make my life a lot more tolerable in the future! We are currently waiting on a large panel of blood tests and a punch skin biopsy test to determine if I have any other underlying autonomic nerve issues or if my PoTS has stemmed from a larger Autoimmune disorder. For now, it’s a waiting game and a gamble every single day I wake up, but I’ve learned so much this year. 2017 is definitely one for the books.... I know I’ll look back on some of those journal entries some day and just shake my head; wondering how in the world I made it out alive. In the big picture, someday these horrible times will be just that... a small bump in the road in comparison to the wonderful life I have in front of me!


So now, here we are in wonderful 2018 and I’m taking this new found knowledge and strength:

• I’ve had the blessing to experience how amazing the gift of Eternal Marriage is and how serious my husband takes those blessings.
• I’ve learned that it’s OK to admit that I need help.
• I’m still learning to not fear the future and take each moment as it comes.
• I learned that my Life Mantra has been all wrong this whole time.... <I can sure as hell “get up” a lot more times than 10...>
• I’ve seen, firsthand, how chocolate pudding looks much better in the cup, than attached to my backside. <ha...>
• I’ve recognized how many amazing friends have entered/re-entered my life as well as how many people I once considered friends slowly drift out of my life, for good. Everyone is in your life for a reason, even if it’s only for now.
• I’ve recognized how important it is to count the little blessings in life and even if you have to squint and turn UPSIDE DOWN... I promise you, there is ALWAYS a Silver Lining. <Or as many of my close friends know, I prefer to see the GLITTER>🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
• I now know that I really was and always will be a true Sun Devil  (I crave the SUN and am a DEVIL when temps dip below 60). ️🌅🌞
• I’ve battled relentlessly with daily trials and have held on tight to one of my favorite quotes: “How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow, before thanking God there is rain...” ️🌈⛅

I have thanked God for my trials but am now very anxious to leave them in the dust... sometimes as I lie awake in bed fighting another wave of severe pain... I just keep repeating what I chanted so many times in the hospital;

“I CAN do this... I can do this.... Just one foot in front of the other.”